John Johnson Great Lamentations and Travail	back to table of contents back to main

And it came to pass in those days in the kingdom of GaBush, even in the land that was called Ame-Ri-Ca, and in the cities that were in that land, even in the city that was built by the Sea Shore and in the city that was built by the Great Plains and the city that was built by the river, that the people were much distressed.

Great lamentations were there and much travail, for the people were sore at heart, and they were full of mourning.  Great trials were theirs and their grief was past all understanding.

And they would not be comforted, for, behold, they had much hot air peddled to them and much jollying had been theirs.

For, behold, it had come to pass in the kingdom of GaBush that the people journeyed forth, even from one city to another, and that they had for their conveyances wagons that were made of strange machines, even by chariots whose breath was the breath of air and whose movement was regulated by the winds thereof.

And there were times when it seemed unto the people of the cities that there was not much wind.

For verily, the planes were all late.

Schedules were there and times were set, whereby the people of the cities might know how the planes moved and what was the hour of the arrival thereof and the departure.

But, verily, the schedules were as the leaves of the forest, as the falling leaves were they, and as the foliage that dropped when the frost came.

For no man knew when the cold would come and it was not given to the son of man to understand how these things should be and when the time should come when these things would happen. 

For the ways of the chariots of the wind were even as the ways of Providence, which were past the understandings of the children of man.

And it came to pass in the kingdom of GaBush that these things were. For it was as had been said by the prophets of old, even by those of ancient days who had foretold these things, that the ways of the airline ticket agent were past knowing.

And the wise man of the kingdom, even of the kingdom of GaBush, when they had met together, wrote upon the book of the records of the kingdom that it should be required of the airline ticket agent, even of those who told the planes where to head, and that they should tell the people when the chariots of the air and of the wind, even the machines that went forth into the clouds and bring the peoples from one city even unto another, what hour the plane would arrive and at what hour it would depart.

Chapter II

And it came to pass in the second year of the reign of GaBush that went forth, even from the city that was built by the Sea Shore, a man whose name was Job.

And his name was called Job because he was a man of great patience.

And it came to pass that he journeyed forth and that he sought to reach another city, even a city that was afar off.

For he had the price and he bought a ticket.

And it came to pass as he journeyed forth, that he learned how great might be the measure of the trouble of man.

For behold, this man whose name was Job had always remained at home.

And he knew not what trouble was.

Grief had he and at times sore distress. But all the trials of his life were as naught when he set forth, even unto his journey into another city. 

For he was to learn what real trouble is.

And he learned it, even unto the queen's taste, for he had troubles that were sure-enough troubles.  Grief had he that was the real stuff.

And he pasted the record of his troubles on his baggage that it might be known unto the men of the kingdom and unto their children and their children’s children.

And, behold, when he had written of his troubles, he had written a great book. And even though he wrote of it all, there was yet much to say.  For the pen is poor and ink is pale that seek to tell of these things.

For troubles of a man that traveleth forth into the kingdom of GaBush are as the sands of the desert; as the drops of the ocean are they, and as the motes of the earth.

For the troubles of this man are past belief, beyond the knowledge of man are they and past his understanding.

Wise may he be who hath never traveled forth and of great understanding.  But when he has journeyed from his city, even unto another, and doth he know what trouble is and in his heart doth he enter how great may be that tribulation of mankind.

Verily, it hath been said by him of old, even by the psalmist, “All men are liars.”

But the psalmist knows not the ways of the airline ticket agent, for they make him the greatest of liars and they mark him as the real thing.

For of all liars there is none that is as the airline ticket agent.  For verily, he lieth when it would be better to tell the truth.  Falsehood doth he put forth when it would be better to advance the truth.

Chapter III

And, verily, it came to pass that man whose name was Job went unto the far cities of the kingdom.

That is he thought he was going forth, but he didn't know what a hellofatime he would have before he got anywhere.

At the airport terminal gate, which was one of the junctions of the kingdom, he did remain several hours. And he studied the scenery of the terminal and he learned its beauties.

For it was a fine place to study scenery; much scenery was there and long hours in which to study.

At Denver, which was the city that was built by the Great Plains, did he linger. But it was not that he cared to loiter, but rather he was told that the plane was on time and it was four hours late. 

Ninety and nine are the miles that he walked and nineteen-hundred and ninety-nine were the oaths that he swore.  For he had time to do all this.

And at the Great Salt Lake did he study more scenery, and at Minneapolis.

Magnificent was the scenery and wonderful were its beauties.  For it was hot stuff.

And even though it hath been said, “Consider the lilies, how they grow,” there is such a thing as too much of the study of nature.

Verily, it is true that the beauties of airport terminals are beyond description; true it is that there are beauties of Denver; true it is that there are beauties at the Great Salt Lake; and the river at Minneapolis, despite the regulations of the airline ticket agent, runneth down hill and is always on time, and Los Angeles is rich in the beauties of the natural world.

But it hath also been said that “Too much of a good thing is too plenty;” and, behold, it was this that Job found out.

For he had plenty of time.

For he had spent many hours at these places; much time did he spend and much breath did he waste.

For the planes which were reported on time were many hours late.

And Job was human.

Great was his faith and marvelous was his patience, but he was not equal to the delays which he encountered.  For they were the limit.

And Job swore.

Many commandments did he break and much salvation did he sacrifice.  But he could not help it.  For his trials were great.

And security descended and the metal detectors came out and they came out in gobs while Job waited for planes that were reported on time.

And he said, “What manner of thing is this that hath been devised for the torture of man?”

And all the satisfaction that he got was from the bulletin board.

And that was not much.  For it was a joke.

And it was so in all the land, even in the kingdom of GaBush, for the planes were all late.

And when Job made complaint that these things should not be, he was given the ha-ha, for it was all a part of business.

For the airline ticket agents did not know, neither could they tell at what hour the planes would come.

For it was true that they were doing airline business on a government schedule.

And it was even so.

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